June 26, 2003

The Great Debate

It has come--the day of reckoning in the Big Arm household. The Boy has discovered his special extra accessory, and, as is his wont, is curious to know exactly what that thing is called.

Let me set the scene for you:

It is 6:45 on a balmy summer day in NC. The Boy, having produced a very smelly diaper, is being allowed to "air out" in the 15 minutes before bathtime. As usual, the sensation of freedom is empowering, and The Boy is running all over the house, laughing and trying to make us chase the crazy naked toddler.

Suddenly, The Boy stops, looks down, and points between his legs.

"Whazzat?"

Hublet and I look at each other, and the moment of reckoning arrives: do we go with clinical terminology or do we go with the baby talk?

"Your penis," I answer.

Hublet grimaces. "Penis is so...clinical. Why not "weiner?"

"WEINER?! That's just ridiculous! It's a penis. Call it a penis!"

"He's two! I don't want my two year old son walking around talking about his penis. That just sounds weird coming from a toddler."

"I don't want him walking around talking about his parts, period, but that's beside the point. And weiner doesn't sound weird? It's a goofy word! What grownup calls it a weiner? That's a food item, for crying out loud! It's a penis!"

"He's not a grownup. I called it a weiner as a boy."

"Penis."

"Weiner."

At this point, The Boy has started fiddling with the part in question, so Hublet takes him off to bathe before he does himself permanent damage (that pulling looked painful). Twenty minutes later they emerge from the bathroom, Hublet looking smug.

The Boy walks over in front of me, indicates the front of his diaper, and announces, "Wee-wee."

I grimace, but accept it. After all, it could have been worse, although I don't think a toddler would have an easy time pronouncing "schlong."

Posted by Big Arm Woman at June 26, 2003 08:25 AM
Comments

My mom thought it would be funny to teach my girls to describe flatulence as 'ventilation'. Now we can't talk about heating and air-conditioning without little giggles bursting forth.

Posted by: Wince and Nod at June 26, 2003 09:24 PM

Well, you could always call it "Harvey," which would satisfy both male and mom needs: on the one hand, gigantic; on the other, invisible.

Posted by: ManFromPorlock at June 27, 2003 01:52 PM

Reminds me of the time my then-2 1/2-year-old daughter announced in the aisle at the supermarket, apropos of nothing, "Boys have a peanut and girls have a banana." Many total strangers convulsed with laughter around me. The fact that I was putting tampons for my wife into the buggy at the time was merely the icing on the cake.

Posted by: Lex at June 27, 2003 05:29 PM

Over at our house, Grandpa taught the munchkin that he has a "Tallywacker," which sounds pretty funny coming out of the mouth of a two-year old.

-- Erik

Posted by: Erik at June 30, 2003 02:51 PM

....

Posted by: anna at June 6, 2004 02:15 PM