And I don't know what to see. We've had a running tradition for the past few years about holiday movie viewings: Hublet, Beloved Uncle and I have trekked cineplex-ward on the Friday after Thanksgiving to view a flick ever since The Boy's arrival has made moviegoing more of a tactical undertaking, and then Hublet and I have done the Guilt-Ridden-Parent Movie Day after Christmas, wherein we drop The Boy at the daycare one day during Christmas break and do things like go out to eat, see a movie, and last year's favorite--buy a car.
For the past few years, our choices have been simple: Harry Potter, Master and Commander, and Lord of the Rings. But this year? Yeesh. What to see?
There's the Lemony Snicket movie, which I'd normally be chomping at the bit to see, but Jim Carrey just puts me off my feed. And yes, I know that he's probably well-suited to be an over-the-top villain, but the hook--that he's at least 47 characters in one movie!!!!--worries me in the same way that Mike Myers in a fluffy cat suit worried me. And with good reason. This movie needs to NOT be about the guy in the prosthetic face; it needs to be about the characters in the story. Dammit.
The Incredibles: I HEART Pixar. Hublet, not so much. He's voting for Jim Carrey over fantabulous pixels. Hmmmmm. Also, the film is PG, which means The Boy is ineligible for viewing. So McDonalds? Why are you marketing it to the Happy Meal set, a great number of whom are under the PG age range? Seriously, I was all set to get the next Aladdin character, from a movie that The Boy could watch, and now we've got a tiny Mr. Incredible with Punchy-Punchy action! Guess I'll just have to go see it and figure out the objectionable bits for myself, darn the luck.
The Polar Express: I love the book. We're actually doing a Polar Express train ride in Dillsboro this December. But a computer rendered Tom Hanks--again, in the He Plays Lots Of Characters--WooHoo! mold (Hollywood, what the HELL is your problem?)--kinda creeps me out in the previews. I mean, he looks like a model for Kids, This Is A Pedophile 101. I'm hoping that's just me, but still--ICK.
Bridget Jones II: Read this review. Cry. Move on, secure in the knowledge that there's always Netflix.
After the Sunset: Yeah, I'll see that After You Kill Me and Prop My Corpse Up in the Theatre. Umm, No.
Seed of Chucky: Netflix? After all, Brad Dourif does his voice. I HEART Brad Dourif. Because I am a freak.
National Treasure: Dear God. No.
Elektra: Feral Girl informs me it has Goran Vijkni;ksdojfsoidjfsldg from ER. Next to The God of All Male Perfection (Hugh Jackman), Goran is a pretty. And I like Jennifer Garner. Hublet will be a big fat NO on this one, though. Perhaps I shall attend with Feral Girl and Company...
Ray: Hear it's great, don't care.
The Grudge: Saw The Ring. I'm just saying NO to round-eye remakes of Japanese horror flicks from now on. Seriously.
Saw: Netflix.
Alfie: Just....no. Jude Law is just too mannequin-like for me.
Shall We Dance: No, we shall not. Nor shall we give JLo Any. More. Money. Ever.
Shark Tale: Let's see...Finding Ne-No.
Friday Night Lights: Hublet wants to see it. Perhaps I shall indulge him, and try to get past Manorexic Billy Bob.
Ladder 49: No. Because Joaquin Phoenix as Leading Man Just. Doesn't. Work.
Team America: Want to see it! Still! Looking like a Netflixer, though.
Sigh. Suggestions are welcome. My holiday tastes tend toward epic drama with testosterone, or fantasy.
Posted by Big Arm Woman at November 12, 2004 09:47 AMWe took the boy (age 4.7) to the Incredibles. He loved it, wants the DVD. He had three of the McDonalds Incredible toys, and insisted on taking them into the theater so that they could watch themselves on the big screen. Nothing objectionable, and it works for grownups too. YMMV
Posted by: Michael at November 12, 2004 09:51 AMMichael -
So what's the PG rating for? Cartoon violence? 'Cause The Boy's seen his share of Looney Tunes to no ill effect...Gah. Stupid ratings systems.
Posted by: BAW at November 12, 2004 10:05 AMI'd say it's violence, the possibility of death, and children in threatening situations. Of course, our boy was dancing in the aisle with a look of utter delight on his face, and the children who are threatened have super powers and basically kick butt.
BTW, Wallace Shawn as the voice of a customer-hating insurance executive is not to be missed. Perfect casting all the way around. I was laughing out loud.
Posted by: Michael at November 12, 2004 10:30 AMBAW,
We saw the Incredibles yesterday. Although we have no chidren, we shared the theater with four rows of elementary-age kids who seemed untraumatized. They were transfixed throughout the whole two hours.
Great characterizations, lots of fun for grownups, and although there is a lot of blowing things up and flinging things and people about, it is very cartoony violence, IMO.
Although you never know what will freak out a kid. (The winged monkeys still give me the willies!)
Posted by: Naomi at November 12, 2004 11:10 AMWe saw "The Incredibles" yesterday.
"We" being me and the boys, ages 7 & 9.
They PG is due to cartoon violence. Personally, I found the violence to be more along the lines of Looney Tunes, not the Ninja Turtles or Yu-Gi-Oh types. Lots of punching.
The bad guy is clearly the bad guy, even to look at he is unappealing. He's out to kill all of the superheroes and they even have a skeleton of a deceased superhero.
There are a few inside jokes that parents will get between the husband and wife, but they aren't offensive jokes.
Bunch of laugh out loud parts and lessons about being true to yourself, doing the right thing, etc. etc. etc.
However....
Since I am of the impression that The Boy is a toddler-preK type kid, I recommend NOT going.
The movie is 1 hour and 45 minutes long - so with previews and stuff, we were in the theater two hours.
By the end, the younger set in the audience was getting antsy and vocal. The little one behind me who had to be about 4 years old started asking to leave a little over an hour into the movie.
And by the way, you left out "Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie." (manical giggle)
Posted by: di at November 12, 2004 12:26 PMDi has a point about running time. Still, it depends on the kid. My son was happily engrossed for two hours, and wanted to stay for more.
Posted by: Michael at November 12, 2004 12:41 PMMy 3 yo dd was quite content watching The Incredibles from my lap, altho we did have to do the mandatory potty break.
Re: The Incredibles, I agree with everybody else. I took my 5 and 7 year-old boys, and they loved it, and I didn't seen anything objectionable.
Posted by: Will Duquette at November 12, 2004 11:34 PMIt's not quite out yet, but don't forget The Life Aquatic by Wes Anderson [Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, Bottle Rocket] -- should be out sometime in December.
Posted by: Terri W. at November 13, 2004 10:26 PMNetflix Seed of Chucky. Worth seeing but NOT worth full price... then again, what is?
But really. Netflix. Extremely high cheese factor. Countless movie references and injokes. Jennifer Tilly playing herself for laughs (and daring to have a bit of wrinkles and almost a double-chin in the closeups).
Geysers of extremely fake blood.
12 steps mocked.
Great fun. But NOT for real money.
Posted by: Naomi at November 13, 2004 10:50 PMOne of these days the movie theaters will get smart and start offering kids' movies with potty breaks every hour.
I could use one, too. Childbirth is hell on the bladder....
Posted by: Claire at November 15, 2004 03:41 PM