June 08, 2007

Conversations With My Mother - Friday at Work Edition

Me: Hey, mom.

Mom: Hey hon. Look, I'm at this furniture store, and...

Me: No. Seriously. Do NOT buy any furniture.

Mom: But they have this beautiful Kincaide four-poster plantation bed in Queen size with -

Me: Mom!

Mom: The entire bedroom suite is only $2300! The bed alone is usually $2500! It's a closeout sale! Once it's gone, it's gone!

Me: All I asked you to look for was one of those cigarette lamps to go in my guestroom.

Mom: Oh, I got that - 30% off of $58 bucks!

Me: I have nowhere to put new furniture, mom. No. Where. Thus the whole "buying a bigger house" plan.

Mom: And then you can use this furniture! Oh, that woman over there is looking at the bed!

Me: What are you going to do, tackle her? I don't have $2300 bucks just lying around, mom. If I did, my car wouldn't still have that dent in it.

Mom: I have my cane. And I'll pay for it up front.

Me: And what if we don't end up moving for like a year or more?

Mom: It's such a beautiful set! And you can pay me back!

Me: But no space! Mom! There will be other furniture stores having closeouts. Where. Will. You. Put. The. Furniture?

Mom: (Sigh) You're right.

Me: Just relax, mom. Your shopping-fu will be needed soon enough.

Mom: Okay. Bye!

****30 Minutes and a Burrito the Size of My Head Later****

Me: Mom? Why are you calling my cell phone? I'm in the office.

Mom: Oh, you didn't just try to call and leave a message?

Me: I did last Sunday, not today.

Mom: You know, I think I'm going to buy this furniture. I'll break down the stuff in the guest room and put the new stuff in there and then you'll have your grandma's extra bedroom suite all ready to go for when you move!

Me: ...

Mom: We could go ahead and move it down there, and you could get rid of your old bed, move the other stuff into the guest room, and replace it with grandma's!

Me: But the room isn't big enough - oh, dear God. Fine. Fine. Really, I just wanted a lamp, mom.

Mom: It'll be great!

Me: (heavy sigh) See you later, mom.

Mom: Love you, sweetie! Bye!

Posted by Big Arm Woman at June 8, 2007 01:13 PM | TrackBack

That sounds like my step-mom. The hardest part is that she means well and just wants to do something nice, yet is completely incapable of calculating the finite living space that I have. I do need to actually move around in my apartment from time to time and at the rate she's going, I'll have to go on a climbing expedition every time I want to get from one side to the other.

Posted by: Emily at June 8, 2007 06:58 PM
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