Back in the olden days, when students would complain that I took a week to grade and return their writing assignments, I would counter them thus:
"Let me be honest. I grade 5 essays per class, per day. That works out to one week to grade your essays, and it allows me to take breaks during grading. Why do I need these breaks? Because after the 3rd or 4th time seeing the exact same errors that I corrected in your draft version making a reappearance in your final paper, I begin to get annoyed. Do you want to take the risk of your paper being the one I look at when I'm annoyed?"
There was rarely any complaining after that little explanation. I also graded in pencil, because my writing remarks tended to become caustic when my irritation levels rose. The pencil allowed me to vent my spleen, and then to return to the paper with a clearer head and replace my previous snark with actual helpful advice.
In a similar vein, I often type out entire emails full of sarcastic bile in response to some academic's or administrator's annoying request, and then delete the email and respond in a more professional manner. I remain sane and employed by doing this, and recommend it to anyone - provided you know the difference between "DELETE" and "SEND."
I'm thinking that perhaps this guy should have employed my method. Or maybe he did, but he got Delete and Send confused.
How's this for an opener:
I say this reluctantly but not so subtly: you are not suitable for a graduate degree. It does not matter if your father died or if you have a medical certificate.
Now apparently the student in question was a slacker, and the professor finally lost patience. But anyone who works in academia (or PR) should know that you never, ever put anything in writing that you don't want published...
Unless it's in pencil.
Posted by Big Arm Woman at August 9, 2007 11:27 AM | TrackBackI'd say the spelling, grammar, and formatting were terrible, but I don't see the content as problematic. If the guy really isn't suitable for a graduate degree, is more "nicer" to lie to him about it? I've driven my share of students out of my field through my teaching and I think they were better off for it.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at August 9, 2007 01:14 PMAOG -
I'm not saying the student shouldn't be discouraged, but perhaps the method could have been more professional.
I didn't lie to my students when their work sucked, either, but I also didn't tell them that I didn't care if they'd had a death in the family or that I'd been giving them grades based on white liberal guilt instead of merit.
Posted by: BAW at August 9, 2007 03:36 PMOK, I'll concede that. I suppose it's another reason I'm not in academia.
Posted by: Annoying Old Guy at August 9, 2007 03:42 PMIn a similar vein to your explaining to students why you take a while to grade, I give my students a piece of up-front advice, on essays, stats homeworks, and such:
"Don't piss off [or, if I don't think the room can tolerate that, "tick off"] the person who's going to be grading you."
By that, I mean don't write in teeny tiny eyestrain-o-vision, don't do half the calculations for a problem on one page and then hide the other half of the calculations on another page, circle your final results, etc., etc.
Some people get the hint but sadly a lot don't. I hate to say it but I often reshuffle my students' papers so I know I'll be grading a likely-to-be-good one right after a likely-to-be-bad one, so I can keep my spirits up a little.
Posted by: ricki at August 10, 2007 12:52 PM